Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy new year!

I had a great last day of 2010 watching fireworks and hanging out with my family.
Everyone is at school now and I am sitting home in my room listening to music. How boring. There are no butterflies in my stomach worrying about where I'm going to sit and who I am going to meet. I'm just sitting here... staring at the screen. I wonder how different life would be if I were still in school. Sometimes I wish I was. So far no one my age has joined clic (my mom and dad's home school centre) mainly little kids. The teenagers here can still spend they're free time playing with balloons and wrestling. I feel like I don't really belong in there sometimes. I fit in very well in school despite the occasional 11 year old girls 'I don't friend you' drama.
We're going to start clic again after the holidays tomorrow. I get to see my friends, but we're not going to be doing any studying yet. It's a picnic. I feel like I need to use my brains a little more. I'm not preparing for any exams when I should be preparing for one of the most important exams: PMR. I need to do some studying. I want to learn all that I can learn. Homework isn't really a word we use much at clic. When it is used, we pretend we don't hear it. Hence, no homework submission on that day.
People have this impression that homeschoolers are anti social. I guess it is true because we are so focused on what we want to do with our life instead of trying desperately to be accepted and not being the one left in the corner.
I have always been hesitant in doing something. I have always been a little scared and that has caused me to not be able to do my best at things I love. I let the moment pass without saying anything and then wishing I have said this or wishing I hadn't said that, wishing I could turn back time. Believe it or not, the reason why someone wrote a song has actually taught me something. That someone taught me to speak now and should not to have that resounding chorus of voices saying "I should've but it's too late now." That is why this is the year to dream and achieve.
Whatever it is, no matter how small, I'm not going to sit around and wait for something to fall into my hands. With hard work, it's going to pay off someday. Even if it's not soon. Fifteen is going to come and go quickly just as every year had done before. I'm not going to let it pass without something significant achieved and a good memory to keep for a rainy day.

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