I've been asked many times what my ambition is, or "big dream" I see for myself. Ever since I was eleven- when people look down on you for having dreams too big for reality, I decided I'd just tell people "I don't know". I decided to just do what I wanted to do and not tell anyone what my ambition was. After some time, I realised that I had forgotten what my dream was.
I always have this fear at the back of my mind that people would roll their eyes thinking I'm a show-off or seeing me differently when I tell them I sing. I've gotten crazy opportunities lately and those days felt as if I was already living a dream:
|Interview at RedFM last year|
Then reality would hit me and this road becomes quite a struggle. I'm not complaining, but I think this career path isn't an easy one. I'd get advice telling me that doing this isn't easy and I should do this as a hobby. But think about it, no career choice is easy. I just finished an 11-hour singing session spanning over 3 days. It was tiring and it was not really a good turnout but I enjoyed playing for the few people who appreciated my music despite the far from perfect sound system I put together with borrowed guitar amplifiers.
|RedFM live showcase. Surreal.|
|My first 30-minute set and also my first gig as a 17 year-old :)|
The question came up again recently, "what's your big dream?" and I decided to give it some thought. I guess its pretty clear now that I want to be a singer and songwriter, but there's something more to that. There has to be more than that because I could still be a singer/songwriter if I sang only for youtube, and I could still be one if I only sang at cafes on weekends. But I want to be able to do music for a living. Not a weekend activity or a hobby that has to be sidelined when I have to get a 'real job'. It would be awesome if I'd get to hear my songs on the radio and go on tour someday. It would be awesome if I could put on shows that represent my music and people appreciate my lyrics. But most importantly with whatever I choose to do, I want to be able to help others. No matter how little. I want people who are loosing everything know that they don't have to loose hope. I want to let people who are sad know that they're not alone. Because when I sing my songs to people, I don't feel so alone.
I hope I'm not asking for too much, but that'a my 'big dream'.