Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Album launch, radio charts, and trying not to freak out

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, 
just go right along and you’ll start happening too.” 
-- Dr Seuss

March 8th 2019
There are no cherry blossoms here in Malaysia, but the sun has been shining way too much that it almost seems as though it brought thunderstorms as a side effect. The flowers on the trees; pink, yellow and white have been making my drive to work and back a little more mesmerising. I wish I could just stand by the trees and stare in awe of the colour and calmness it brings. 
This is me jumping out of another post I never published. I wrote so many journal entries but couldn’t bring myself to put them on here for some reason. So here’s one of quite a number of posts that have been sitting comfortably in my draft notes finally seeing the light of the day. You’ll be seeing a lot of these in the coming future.

Hi. I’m sorry for disappearing. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have noticed- and I don’t mean it in a rude way- its just that there’s so much going on all the time, sometimes I feel like there’s no need for me to add to any of it. Wouldn’t you feel like staying in the quiet for a little while too sometimes? 
It has been an insanely crazy, busy and exciting few months. It’s been such a rush, and I still don’t know how to wrap my head around it all. Today is the first time in a very long time I have absolutely nothing to do but breathe, and let it sink in.

I think I feel happy.
No, in this very moment all I feel is happy. 
(and maybe a little tired)

This year I went to China, did TV and radio interviews, had an album launch, a song placed NUMBER ONE on She Wolf Radio, and top 10 in a few other charts (!!!), amongst many exciting things. I don’t think I will ever get used to media interviews, I have become significantly less panicky though, but it still always freaks me out. I got to do a couple on my own and a few with the pH artists, and (I know I say it a lot) but it doesn’t feel real. April came in such a rush, and now its May. Sometimes- no most of the time, I feel like I’m living in 2018 still. Reminiscing on the carefree summer evenings spent in Nashville. Now, for some reason even more so than ever. Almost every day this week while driving to work I see a car or a motorcycle with the licence plate: ‘BNA’ (Nashville’s airport abbreviation) and I can’t help but wish I were there. 

I turned 23 this February, and we were preparing for a radio interview when everyone managed to successfully surprise me for the first time ever. To be honest I don’t really like surprises, so I try to be on guard and look out for any signs it might be happening. And every single time I managed to figure it out, except for this time. I don’t know, maybe 23 is growing on me. I feel different, but I still feel the same. Happy and sad, and still a lot anxious about a lot of things, but its all okay. It really is. Learning to stay calm through chaos and accepting that everything happens for a reason. Learning to enjoy the peace when it comes- not worrying about how, or why it is here, or when it will be gone. Or when it will be coming back. Maybe its acceptance, maybe I’m learning how to understand my feelings and myself as well as the people around me a little more.

We had an album launch party, and that was really crazy. I felt super nervous, at the same time tried my best to enjoy the moment. I don't think there was much excitement but more nerves and anxiety. I was worried about the turnout, if we booked a place too big, and a million and one other things. Everything went pretty much better than I could've expected, and I'm so thankful for everyone's support. I can't believe my album's out!

Thank you so, so much for supporting me and my music <3 

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